I’m not a frequent shopper but recently my visits have struck me with the self judgement I witnessed.
While in a checkout line, a woman commented on my boldness in trying a dress on in the middle of the department, (you just never know who’s watching you), she complimented me on it’s appearance. While the woman behind her went on and on about stripes making her look fat, and the woman who’d complimented me, said to her, “all the clothes make us look fat”.
On another shopping visit at a private crowded store, with one dressing room, a tall slim woman decided she’d try her sweater on in the middle of store rather than wait for the dressing room, but as soon as she put it on, she said, ” I’m too fat to wear this.” Like what you’re reading, let’s stay connected, get regular updates and free stuff.
In each of these situations I was struck with the collective ” what women tell themselves”. What does it mean, when “average women” decide they’re too fat, how do you see yourself? Usually one sees what’s not right, the wrinkles, the folds, the gray hairs, the imperfections what needs to be covered up. And comparing yourself to some idea of “what you should look like”.
Many years ago, I remember a friend saying she mentioned to a friend of hers, “my thighs are so fat!” Her friend with cancer responded, “there’s no time for this”!
I was talking with a client the other day and she realized even when she weighed 125 pounds, she still didn’t think she looked good. As she and I continue to work together she’s realizing this is her work to address, because she admitted, she’s never shared this feeling with anyone else, and she’s now 60.
As you’re coming towards Valentines Day, perhaps the love and affection needed the most is towards yourself. Look in the mirror see your beauty, your radiance, your uniqueness, your smile, your grace, your style…
What we put our attention on grows, what are you putting your attention on? You deserve to shine, as Marianne Williamson says in Our Deepest Fears, “as little children do, because we are here to manifest the glory of god.” If you are focused on your fat thighs, your bulging belly, your … there’s no time or space for what you’re here to do.
To your loving you this Valentines Day, a little more each day. Like what you’re reading, let’s stay connected, get regular updates and free stuff.