I was talking with my client Meg earlier and by the middle of the conversation she realized saying Yes, when she meant NO, was costing her, robbing her of her life! We discovered six areas of her life she had completely given up because she felt guilty saying NO!
She works with a team of people, they’re short staffed and when it comes time to scheduling who’s going to stay late, or come in early, she’s always the one who says I will, in her mind she’s thought, because I don’t have a good reason not to, but as we talked further, she discovered what she thought wasn’t a good reason was costing her, ~ life.
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She was exhausted, her eating was threatened, her physical activity was compromised, she’d not seen her grandchild in over three weeks, which was a life priority, having been a mom with lots of responsibilities and not been able to attend their events, she didn’t want to miss her grandkids events too! She hated to admit it but she was really resentful! Resentment is always a sign you’ve compromised for someone, or something other than what you want. As we continued talking, she understood, ” I let this happen, I’ve made myself unhappy”, and I didn’t even know it!”
Resentment is my wake up call, letting me know I’ve let things go, and something isn’t right but somehow I’ve signed on for it. Are you great at taking care of others, saying yes, when you’d rather not, agreeing to be at work, or on a committee, do you volunteer because no one else will, but later are you seething, a bit resentful, unconsciously eating wondering why?
Here’s a reminder, you need your oxygen, first! On an airplane, you’re guided, “when traveling with a small child put oxygen over your nose and mouth, before your child” (I’d include, clients, friends, family, work…), because if you don’t, you won’t be breathing for long. I’ve noticed it can be subtle, maybe you don’t eat lunch because you’ve a meeting, or you skip your meditation because you need to get a lot done, or … eventually it adds up and you’re robbing yourself of what makes you good at being you.
What can you do today to say No~ to what you don’t want, and YES ~ to what you do? You are the only one who can take care of you, no one else can or will. Like what you’re reading, let’s stay connected and get free stuff.
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