Saturday night my internet went out. Not usually a big deal it’s happened before, when Lupe’s been here cleaning she’s accidentally knocked something loose.
I thought I’m sure this’ll will be the same.
I went over to the cable box and tried unplugging the plugs and replugging but still nothing.
I wasn’t feeling that great so this was feeling more effortful, with each trip back to the box. But still I was determined, based on past experience, I was convinced I could do it.
But still on my own nothing was happening. I figured okay calling RCN has worked they’ve walked me through the steps to turn the signal back on or something like that and magically my internet life went back to working.
But this time after they walked me through the steps the orange was still flashing on my router, and nothing changed. But inside I was convinced this has to work, there must be a way. She tried one more thing but still nothing!
Kindly she said if you’re unopposed to my sending a technician we can set your appointment up for Monday. And I surrendered and agreed.
That I was teaching a workshop on what gets in the way of your best self was not lost on me. I knew one of the things in my way was screens and particularly the phone. And without internet nothing was working.
So I surrendered, I made dinner, I took a bath and carried on with my night.
Then Monday morning the technician came as promised at the most perfect time allowing me to take care of what I needed to, and he discovered the router wasn’t working. He replaced it, and presto within minutes all my devices were working and I was plugged in again.
But what really struck me was my thinking. I’d convinced myself that because in the past it had worked, it should work now. And it reminded me of clients who’s story sounds a lot like my experience with my internet. They talk about what did work thinking it should work now. They say “I used to know how to do this and now I don’t. And they keep trying but it doesn’t work and they get more and more frustrated holding onto the way it used to be, feeling worse and worse about themselves.
Usually this is when they start to call for help, finally accepting what they’re doing isn’t working. They’re not getting results. They can’t stop…saying “I know what to do, but I can’t do it, and making myself do it isn’t working in the way it used to, can you help me”.
And like me with my internet service it can feel like magic, suddenly having someone with you who does know what to do and has it all start making sense.
If you’re noticing you keep saying but it should work…but it doesn’t, call.