Reva and I getting to know one another, began talking after a lecture, she looked at me and asked what exactly do you do, I started explaining, and she looked down at the candy kisses she was holding and burst into tears, “don’t take my candy away”. But I’d not suggested anything about her eating. is this how you think about food?
Yesterday I’d a conversation with Joan, and she said, food is my best friend, it’s always been there for me.
My client Rema, told me this when we started, she tried all kinds of diets, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, vegetarianism …on them all she did great “for a little while” than food called to her, late at night, beckoning her to have just a little, when things weren’t so great at home, if she felt anxious, afraid, food was there, consistent, comforting, ready to receive her, it was her best friend/lover. She could be herself. The flavors, the taste the initial satisfaction, but than there was the after feeling, she’d done it again, didn’t feel so good, a little groggy, fuzzy, irritable, then the weight creeping up, each year she’d “put on a little more”. But she didn’t want to give it up, she wanted to, she didn’t. Food was her most reliable friend, consistently there, it didn’t judge her, didn’t need anything from her, but there was the shame, embarrassment, being fatter, no willpower, feeling even more vulnerable, more alone, self loathing, again the food was there. How could she ever get off the train? It was clear food loved her, she loved it, but the relationship had to change for her to gain her life back. This is where we came together. I am happy to say today Rema is making very different choices.
She learned to talk about her struggles and discover the why’s of reaching for food. She’s looking inside herself has better ways to deal with her feelings and anxiety. She is reexamining her thinking. She’s broken the cycle, of her oldest hang-up and habit!
She’s steadily losing weight and is discovering what she really enjoys. “She says the best thing is she doesn’t overeat anymore. She has learned to stop eating before she’s full. Without using food to stuff down her feelings, HUGE victory! She’s choosing to listen and rely on innerself!
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