The art of forgiveness is a spiritual practice ~ many spiritual truths teach it holds the key to happiness. I have been exploring how to bring more of it into my life. I find when I am exploring a topic it begins to show up in multiple ways in my life. Have you noticed how that is? For example, if you are looking to purchase a specific vehicle you keep seeing it every where you go? Or if a situation happens to you and you begin to talk about it, you find others have experienced it too. Suddenly, it becomes available to examine. Forgiveness is for the big things but also for the daily small things. I was listening to a community speaker who was saying she notices in counseling others, they have the hardest time forgiving themselves. I see it with clients, if I am not careful I can go there as well. Holding ourselves up to harsh standards looking at ourselves through the lens of our imperfections… from the small to the larger issues, from what we are eating when we know not to eat it, drinking coffee, when we are giving it up, saying yes when we mean no, not speaking up for ourselves, yelling at someone when we were upset, getting impatient with a child or parent…the opposite of forgiveness.
I am believing the phrase” to error is human but to forgive is divine”. In the past I was very aware of “how things needed to go” and when they didn’t go that way I was rather reactive, looking for who to blame, holding judgement over someone for the part they played in messing things up. But that didn’t give me what I wanted; to feel happy, to feel connected to be open minded, I had to change, and the more I practice forgiveness the more I see how it softens me and asks me to pause and say maybe I don’t know. Maybe there is more to learn but judgement will not get me the response I want no matter what occurs.
How is Forgiveness the key to happiness? When we don’t forgive ourselves or others we carry “the wrong ” of others or “how right we are” with us, either way it weighs us down. It consumes our thinking, it closes our hearts, it takes us away from being present, the act is over but our mind is not free, not allowing ourselves, peace of mind, causing us greater suffering.
Carolyn Myss, PhD Medical intuitive and renowned author says “we hold our issues in our tissues”. This makes another point that what we hold onto creates our suffering our ill-health. I love, how life daily gives us these opportunities to show up and grow, do things differently, learn, offering ourselves to bring more into the moment with forgiveness, and compassion.
Can you imagine a world where we all forgave one another?