What if your 19 year old self decided to get help, what if she said dieting doesn’t work! How would your life change?
Tuesday Allie reached out to me “she said I realize dieting and depriving myself isn’t working, I end up binging and I gain back more weight. And, now I weigh more than I did before I started this. And the emotional toll it’s taking on me isn’t worth it. Can you help me?”
I asked how long has this been going on, she said a long time, a year! How old are you? 19.
In sharing with a fellow coach, how smart she is to know at 19 “what I’m doing here isn’t working and it’s not worth it, and if I continue on this trajectory I see what lies in front of me and it isn’t good and I don’t want it, and I’m willing to change”.
Many of us may have heard that message years before we decide to get help, but we may not have listened, we may have decided to push through telling ourselves we can do it ourselves. But then we finally say I give and admit, “what I’m doing isn’t working and I need help to do something different”.
What I know from years of being emotionally dependent on food: dieting isn’t the answer, it’s what leads to the feeling of discouragement, hopelessness and “something’s wrong with me thinking”.
Einstein said “The mind that created the problem can not fix the problem”. And this is the problem emotional eaters are in.
We try to fix the problem from the same mind that created the problem. So what needs changing, is the mind. It’s how we really start to see ourselves clearly. Then we’re able to take the right action for our situation.
When my dad was really sick and dying, my family didn’t want to believe it, so they wanted to take him to a pain doctor for his pain, but the real problem wasn’t his pain, it was he was dying and he was dealing with all the consequences from that stage of his life, he needed a different solution for his situation.
To me it’s Einstein’s message…
Until my family was ready to see the entire situation for what it was (from a different mind) they couldn’t get the right help for the situation.
If the symptom is we’re fat, or have gained weight and think okay let’s fix the problem, lose weight, it’s only dealing with the symptom and not the core issues of the symptom.
It’s not addressing the entire problem, this was true for me. I started dieting at 13 so my solution was always go on a diet, but like my new friend Allie, from a diet, I’d gain more weight. So beyond a temporary solution, a diet always failed me.
And if a diet was the right solution it would have worked the first time, or maybe the second but for sure the third but there were many more failed attempts after that.
So if this is you, I hope you can start to accept a diet isn’t your solution, but actually changing your mind is. And this is completely within your power to do, not easy, but doable!
And any change begins with the first step, and awareness is the key to turning this around.
Here’s the action you can take, if you’re like Allie and I…
Start to write down all the diets you’ve been on, what happened?
And then what happened that it stopped working?
There’s gold in there.
If you need more please reach out. You’ve got this. I believe in you. And you’re more powerful then you know.
Treat yourself well because you are so deeply loved.